Your weekly #GossipAlert round-up: Love Island Week 1

At the time of writing this, we’ve watched 4 days of the biggest competition taking the UK (nay, the world) by storm. And no, we’re not talking about the Euros. It’s of course, Love Island Season 7!

The first week has not disappointed us with regards to the amount of abs and lip filler on display, the number of times “what’s your type” has been mentioned, or the realisation that men in white jeans are not something to be desired.

But what we are lacking (so far) is some real standout characters. Could the producers maybe send in Ovie or Maura, for old time’s sake?

Despite this, the first week has brought its fair share of wild, loud, weird and cringy moments. Here’s our top 7:

The sweet, sweet sounds of snogging

Okay we lied, but it was a good headline. Seriously though, it’s seems like the mics were increased to full volume on this week’s snogs. The sound of lips smacking and salvia swashing is something we didn’t sign up for. Can we have the music louder next time please?!

First dumping on night 2!

The fire pit had barely been gathered around this season before the first islander recieved a text to pack her bags. 22-year-old Shannon was at first ecstatic to get rid of Aaron when Chloe, the bombshell,l chose him, but then was in a bit of shock when she was asked to leave.

It has been reported than Shannon was dumped, in unusually quick Love Island fashion, because she “wouldn’t play ball and refused to kiss anyone”. We saw her body literally retreat within itself when she had to kiss Toby during a game, so we aren’t too surprised by this call.

However, a Love Island spokesperson has denied this claim saying, “This is simply not true.” We don’t know who to believe, but what we can hope for is that Shannon surprises us in Casa Amor…

Chloe’s voice note

Not only did the poor girl have to put on her best sexy voice around a group of producers, but “I’ve got a voice note” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as “I’ve got a text”. We get the show is trying to keep up with the times, but voice notes are for letting your friends know how your date went while on the way to work, with a good dose of “uhms” and “erms” thrown in.

Jack’s “subtle” recording

The man professed his foot fetish from the get-go to us watching at home, but it wasn’t until he whipped out his phone to record Toby sucking Kaz’s toe in a game that everyone in the Villa realised. We’re not sure why he needed to have that on his phone, but maybe we don’t want to know…

Brad, lover of Nans and his own voice

Unofficially voted the hottest guy in the Villa, Brad seems to rely solely on his good looks when pulling birds, because his chat definitely needs some improvement. From Faye’s wide eye concentration tactics to Chloe desperately wanting to be asked a question in return, we think Brad needs to work on his banter.

Not only does he talk a lot and shout “Faye, Faye, Faye” like the Finding Nemo Seagulls, but apparently he’s also a bit difficult to understand, with some viewers calling for subtitles. He’s still great to look at, so we hope he stays in for the long haul!

First “mug off” of the season

Our first fight in the Villa was between Faye and Brad, who are currently coupled up but wish they weren’t… Faye is literally sleeping on the edge of the bed in distaste. It all went downhill after a few saucy rounds of beer pong, where Brad had to snog the islander he likes the most and the one he likes the least… And his unwilling sleeping buddy was dubbed the latter.

As it’s still early days, we didn’t get a really big blow up. We’ll just have to wait for another bout to match the “TWO DAYS” energy we’ve grown accustomed to.

There’s a new guy named Chuggs…

One of the latest bombshells to enter the Villa, alongside young-and-tall Liam from Wales, is none other than Chuggs. You’d think his nickname derived from his skills in downing pints, but alas, it seems to have been thrust upon him by his parents (we assume) as it’s a combination of the words “cuddles” and “hugs”. We can only suspect that there’s a Huddles out there somewhere.

What did you think of the first week in sunny Majorca? Drop us a comment or let us know on social media. Don’t forget to keep an eye out for next week’s #GossipAlert for another Love Island recap!


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